Monday, June 13, 2011


i write you this post tired from a late night chatting with friends, our fuel: wine, food, a good book. the reasons we come together, and the blessing of 1 or 2 lingering after and sharing deeply and growing our relationships was and is immeasurable. i cannot know how these times now will build for our friendships later.

ironically the book we read The Help takes place in 1960's Jackson, Mississippi focused on the help and their relationships; was not about friendship - or was it? i clung to Minny and Aibileen's amazing friendship of being so close. to be able to go to the other's house without a "playdate" and sit and have tea. to protect each other beyond their own self, to care so deeply about the other impacted me greatly. maybe these are different times, walking over to a friend's house just to chat unannounced might be considered rude, what if she's busy? what if she's not ready for me? what if, what if... community used to be people sharing the lawn mower out of shear necessity, watching each other's children, maybe share a meal together. now our world is so protected: protected sex, protected peoples rights, protected children in many ways including strict movie ratings, protected health laws - no smoking in public places, etc, all of which are very good and i feel fortunate to live in such times - but we're so dang protected we're getting isolated. plugged into our computer, tv, iPad, laptop, video game, phone... where and when is there time for human beings to enter into our lives... in person? in the same room? IN REAL LIFE? and not hi everything is fine *fake smile*. no. real stuff and it doesn't have to be bad either. i can honestly say that i, my mother, and my grandmother, have never had a friend like Aibileen or Minny. maybe it's just us. i moved 25 times by the time i was 25, so now that i have been in once place for 10 years, now what? is it just me? busy with my babies, school, household?

do i need to stomp into someone's kitchen make coffee sit down and say (like Aibileen) "we gone be friends."? no, i know that friendships take building, time, nurturing. i have great, wonderful friends and i think if they lived closer or i just got over the "what if's" then maybe i would have this beautiful thing that Minny and Aibileen have.
the book was amazing. the writer is ridiculously talented, you feel like you're there, and i had a hard time not picking up the dialect the help spoke in -her writing was that good. i hope the movie does it justice. looking forward to it.

do you have a friend like Minny and Aibileen? 
do you have each other's backs? 
can you just stop by unannounced? 

what a poetically beautiful thing.



  1. I'm looking forward to reading this book!

  2. When I was little, the neighborhood we lived in was like this. Children running in and out of each others homes to play, my mom & the other ladies stopping in for a visit (unannounced), hanging out in each others yards in the evenings. Everyone in the neighborhood knew each other well. I loved it, and I think that's what I always envisioned for myself. It's sad to me that life's not like that much anymore.

  3. That book is on my summer reading list. Now I really want to read it. My life growing up was just like what aPearantly sew said. It was so nice. We don't have that for our kids. I have some friends that have my back and I have theirs. Love them.

  4. Ok - now I want to read this book!
    If we lived close, you could totally stop by my house anytime, just don't mind the mess.

  5. I think it's hard for people to let their guard down these days. I long for community for deep friendships just like you have described. So far they are rare. I do have one...she's 4 hours away. But I could totally show up unannounced and it would be just peachy!!

  6. I wish I was a stop in kind gal some days.... but then I fall into the what ifs too!

    Sounds like a cool book... cna I borrow it? Hehehehe :)

    Hope we get to see you lots at PSC this summer!


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